I'm about to pull off some stunts that are gonna remake my world. I'd like to thank those that are close to me for having stuck around throughout this last year. I'm sure I've not been an easy person to know, or get along with - hell, I'm sure even my parents have had to question how much they love me. But I hope that those who have believed in what I am doing and want to do will be vindicated in the next few months. I hope that those who've hung in there with me hoping that I'll come out of this and be a better friend/brother/son/man, get the Jeremy that they deserve. And I also hope that those multitudes who do not believe in what I'm doing get to watch me leave them behind.
I'm exhausted. I'm having trouble juggling all the balls that I've got up in the air right now. I've dropped a couple, but so far I've been able to pick up the fallen ones without dropping any more. And I'm closer now than ever before to achieving a major dream of mine: Attaining a level of financial security that will enable me to attend school while supporting myself at a very comfortable standard of living, pretty much for as long as I want to. I could theoretically go to school until I'm ready to retire. I'll also be able to retire at 55 if I want to, and I might never have to work for anybody but myself until then.
But the question now is: If I soon achieve this dream, what dreams do I have to work for in the future? Thinking about how I've effectively relegated work to part-time yet high value enterprise, and how I've relegated higher education to a matter of entertainment, I can't help but feel that life now needs to have some other serious purpose.
Some people need to make their mark on society - they want fame, or they want people to consider them to be valuable or important. Sometimes they build buildings, or become philanthropists. Sometimes they get so caught up in these vanity projects that they forget about the only really necessary mark you need to make on society, which is the influence you have on the people you know best and love. And I think that's my new dream. To make my mark on society by being the kind of man that makes the lives of the people he loves better, not through dictation, but through compassion and support - just being there for them when they need me. My pursuits outside of that can only ever be self-gratifying, but making the lives of the important people I know better through my association with them will be ultimately far more gratifying.