Thursday, June 01, 2006

Time to Heal Some Wounds

I am soon to be a former gas man. That is, I've sold my Petro Canada franchise, and the handover occurs in less than a month. Once that's done, I hope that I'm moving on to something bigger and better. This change is actually just one of a few that are occuring in my life. My living arrangement is changing, my family life is changing (my sister and several cousins have started their own families, my parents are getting ready to retire, etc.)

As I transition from one chapter in my life to another, I've decided to take stock of my outlook on life; my attitudes towards other people, institutions, situations, spirituality, and vice, in particular. It's a good thing to do sometimes. When you run a business, you've got to continuously take stock of your situation, ie. product levels, cash and working capital levels, etc., in order to know what direction the business is going in, and to periodically give yourself an honesty/reality check with respect to that direction. Sometimes, you have to adjust your stock. In the case of a convenience store like the one I owned, that meant writing off old stock, or theft, for example. You know, you have to shed some of the things that are not helping you move in the direction that you want to be going in.

Today I want to write off resentments that I've accumulated over the seven years that I've owned this business. Resentment is like old stock, it goes sour like past due milk, or stale like old chocolate bars, and you can never sell it, and you'll never get anything out of it but a bad taste in your mouth. You may as well face the fact that the old stock should just be thrown away, and you move on.

I need to give up the resentments that I have towards:

1. People who complain about high gas prices
2. People who yell at gas jockeys
3. Thieves
4. Dishonest employees
5. Petro Canada for their endless manipulations
6. And finally, the government for making me their tax collector.

I forgive this list of people for hurting me over the years. I want to also seek forgiveness from those close to me who've suffered my anger during this time. It is my intention to release my resentments in a more timely and constructive manner, because it is resentment that is the root of much destructive behaviour. It's not as though the acts of people listed above are not destructive themselves, but I can not control any of them, only my own acts.

By the way, resentment also makes one self-absorbed. Maybe my ceaseless ranting will finally cease, if I can successfully release all my resentments :)

Stay tuned, for some more stock taking....


rp said...

Posts like these are a refreshing read; you're very in tune with yourself. Personally, I learned a lot about myself when I left home and moved East. Was there a specific period in your life where you started to realize who you really are, or have you always kept a close eye on yourself?
In any case, keep up the reflection.

Anonymous said...

wow - pull out the kleenex and the photo albums - is yo momma yo shrink?

Anonymous said...

ok - just kidding - that was dumb. seriously though, its inspiring to read that someone is confident enough to openly reflect on their personal evolution.

Rocketman1200 said...

For me it's been the last say, 3 or 4 years. It seems as though as I get older, I get the opportunity to understand and control my own mind. Sometimes I squander the control, other times I exploit it. It really is fun, in both instances.

Rocketman1200 said...

hehehe. yeah yeah, you know it. Actually my mom and I write these posts together, as part of the program she likes to call 'finding your inner wuss'! ;)